
FRIENDSHIP (Photo credit: Woody शक्ति Shakti)
During the most difficult times of your studies, it seems like it could be easier to lick the inside of a rusted tin of German hand-grenades dating back to the First World War whilst walking the path of the Paris-Dakar Rally blindfolded,

Jutta Kleinschmidt, BMW X3, Dakar Rally 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
than it would be to open yet another page of yet another textbook as you prepare for yet another exam. Indeed, many of you would opt for the former rather than the latter - and quite readily at that!
So, this is where friends come in. Right from the outset you need to develop deep and lasting friendships. friendships that ... fill in all the cliche's that are true about friendships.
Friendships cannot be forced, and cannot be defined. But I do want to give you a few guidelines when you consider developing friendships.
a. Consider which gender. It is a lie that you cannot have true friendships with the opposite sex. I had a number of "girl friends" when I was at university. I would never have wanted to date them, precisely because they were very good friends and I had no romantic feelings for them. By the same token, don't only have the same gender friends. Guys, don't have
only guy friends - you are going to need platonic female friends in your life to help restore some normality to your already crazy male brain! Girls, don't only have girl friends. Too much oestrogen = BAD.
b. Consider which religion. As you know, I am a Christian, but I had some very good Muslim friends at Varsity. However, my best friends, the ones that understood me the best, were fellow Christians. This is not being discriminatory, it's being realistic. They understood my feelings on certain issues. We could discuss issues easily and we could prayer together.
c. Consider romantic involvements. Sometimes you have to move on from a previous romantic involvement, and that means moving on from a group of friends. This can be extremely difficult. But hey! you're an adult now! Act like one! Move on! If you've broken up with someone, and you can't be friends with you ex, and you can't comfortably be friends with your mutual friends, then act the grown-up and move on. Let it be known that you are the adult, and carry on with your life. Get professional help if you need, but move on!
d. Consider timetables and course. Sometimes timetables and courses will be a major problem. If you are on a huge campus like Wits University in Joburg, and most of your friends are at Medical School, you are going to have to re-evaluate. Your time together may then be limited to weekends. And may not involve any of your studies at all.
d. Consider diligence. Some people are simply not good friends to have in regards to studying. They might be fun to have as friends, but when it comes to the nitty gritty of studying, Elvis has left the building, baby. So, you need consider how diligent your friends are in their studies. Are they good at their studies? Are they willing to help? Are they willing to share their knowledge? If they are brighter than you, are they willing to tolerate you (to put it bluntly)? You need to be able to answer all these questions.

"Friendship" (Photo credit: BroGuggs)
e. Consider your own willingness to give. This is of paramount importance. How much are you willing to give to you friends? Are you willing to give of your time and energy to them? Are you will to be there for them when their girlfriend breaks up with them? Are you willing to help them prepare for their Viva the weekend before it happens? Are you willing to help them do some research for a paper they are writing? For as much as you are willing to do for them, they are going to be willing to do for you.

French troops using a catapult to throw hand grenades and other explosives during World War I (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
f. Consider the group dynamic. Amongst my fondest memories were the times when me and my friends went to the Vaal Dam for a few long weekends and did some water-skiing and braaiing and having a lazy time. It was special time. But we were also able to spend time together studying and helping other out before exams.
I hope this has helped you understand the importance of friendships during your studies. Do you have any other ideas about why friends are important during studies? Or fond memories of times spent recently or in the past with groups of friends whilst at college/varsity? Please share....